What is Bullying? Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse....

By Sumedha

What is Bullying? Bullying is the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate or aggressively dominate others. The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict. Behaviors used to assert such domination can include verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion, and such acts may be directed repeatedly towards particular targets. Rationalizations of such behavior sometimes include differences of social class, race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, appearance, behavior, body language, personality, reputation, lineage, strength, size or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing. According to Oxford dictionary bully means are “Seek to harm”, “intimidate” or “coerce”. The definitions given in the Cambridge dictionary is as follows. “someone who hurts or frightens someone else, often over a period of time, and often forcing them to do something that they do not want to do” Bullying is when people repeatedly and intentionally use words or actions against someone or a group of people to cause distress and risk to their wellbeing. These actions are usually done by people who have more influence or power over someone else, or who want to make someone else feel less powerful or helpless.  Bullying is not the same as conflict between people such as like having a fight or disliking someone, even though people might bully each other because of conflict or dislike. The sort of repeated behaviour that can be considered bullying includes:   Keeping someone out of a group Acting in an unpleasant way near or towards someone Giving nasty looks, making rude gestures, calling names, being rude and impolite, and constantly negative teasing. Spreading rumors or lies, or misrepresenting someone (i.e. using their Facebook account to post messages as if it were them) Mucking about that goes too far Harassing someone based on their race, sex, religion, gender or a disability Intentionally and repeatedly hurting someone physically  Intentionally stalking someone Taking advantage of any power over someone else as a Prefect or a Student representative. Bullying is divided into four basic types of abuse. Emotional Verbal Physical Cyber. A bullying culture can develop in any context in which humans interact with each other. This includes school, family, the workplace, home, and neighborhoods. The main platform for bullying is on social media websites. Bullying can occur in nearly any part in or around the school building, although it may occur more frequently during physical education classes and activities such as recess and also takes place in school classrooms, bathrooms, on school buses and while waiting for buses, and in classes that require group work and or after school activities. Bullying in school sometimes consists of a group of students taking advantage of or isolating one student in particular and gaining the loyalty of bystanders who want to avoid becoming the next target. Bullying can also be prepared by teachers and the school system itself. But no matter what form bullying takes, the results can be the same: severe distress and pain for the person being bullied.  Parental bullying of children Parents who may displace their anger, insecurity, or a persistent need to dominate and control upon their children in excessive ways have been proven to increase the likelihood that their own children will in turn become overly aggressive or controlling towards their peers. Different aspects of bullying There are many different types of bullying that can be experienced by children and adults alike, some are obvious to spot while others can be more subtle. The different types of bullying that we look at below are some of the ways that bullying could be happening. Physical bullying Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property. Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damages. Verbal bullying Verbal bullying includes name calling, insults, teasing and intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the mentality of children. Social bullying Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognize and can be carried out behind the bullied person's back. It is designed to harm someone's social reputation and or cause humiliation. Social bullying includes: Lying and spreading rumours Negative facial or physical gestures Laying nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate Mimicking unkindly Encouraging others to socially exclude someone Damaging someone's social reputation or social acceptance. Cyber bullying Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies, including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms. Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying. Cyber bullying can include: Abusive or hurtful texts emails or posts, images or videos Deliberately excluding others online Nasty gossip or rumours Imitating others online or using their log-in Effects of being bullied Bullying affects everyone in different ways. But there are common feelings that come up when a Child is being bullied. 

How bullying can affect a child: Feeling guilty like it is one’s own fault Feeling hopeless and stuck like - can’t get out of the situation Feeling alone, like there is no one to help Feeling like - don’t fit in with the cool group Feeling depressed and rejected by friends and other groups of people Feeling unsafe and afraid Feeling confused and stressed out wondering what to do and why this is happening to me Feeling ashamed that this is happening to me Bullying can affect everyone, those who are bullied those who bully those who witness bullying Bullying is linked to many negative outcomes including impacts on mental health, physical health, and suicide. It is important to talk to kids to determine whether bullying or something else is a concern. Kids who are bullied Kids who are bullied can experience negative physical, school, and mental health issues. They are more likely to experience: Depression and anxiety Increased feelings of sadness and loneliness Unexplainable injuries Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness Changes in sleep and eating patterns Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy Decreased academic achievement Decreased school attendance Some bullied children might retaliate through extremely violent measures. In 12 of 15 school shooting cases in the 1990s, the shooters had a history of being bullied. According to the latest available data from UNICEF:   Globally, slightly more than 1 in 3 students aged 13-15 experience bullying, and roughly the same proportion are involved in physical fights. 3 in 10 students in 39 industrialized countries admit to bullying peers. In 2017, there were 396 documented or verified attacks on schools in the Democratic Republic of the Congo, 26 on schools in South Sudan, 67 attacks in the Syrian Arab Republic and 20 attacks in Yemen.   Nearly 720 million school-aged children live in countries where corporal punishment at school is not fully prohibited. While girls and boys are equally at risk of bullying, girls are more likely to become victims of psychological forms of bullying and boys are more at risk of physical violence and threats. Signs of Bullying Others Kids may be bullying others if they:    Get into physical or verbal fights Have friends who bully others Are increasingly aggressive Get sent to the principal’s office or to detention frequently Have unexplainable extra money or new belongings Blame others for their problems Don’t accept responsibility for their actions Are competitive and worry about their reputation or popularity Kids who bully others Kids who bully others can also engage in violent and other risky behaviors into adulthood. Kids who bully are more likely to: Abuse alcohol and other drugs in adolescence and as adults Get into fights Vandalize property Drop out of school Engage in early sexual activity Have criminal convictions and traffic citations as adults  Be abusive toward their romantic partners, spouses, or children as adults Bystanders Kids who witness bullying are more likely to: Have increased use of tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs Have increased mental health problems, including depression and anxiety Miss or skip school The relationship between Bullying and Suicide Media reports often link bullying with suicide. However, most youth who are bullied do not have thoughts of suicide or engage in suicidal behaviors. Although kids who are bullied are at risk of suicide, bullying alone is not the cause. Many issues contribute to suicide risk, including depression, problems at home, and trauma history. Additionally, specific groups have an increased risk of suicide lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender youth. This risk can be increased further when these kids are not supported by parents, peers, and schools. Bullying can make an unsupportive situation worse. How bullying can affect other people? Bullying can have a negative impact on everyone. it is not just a problem for victims and bullies. If any child see or know of others been bullied he may feel angry, fearful, guilty, and sad. He may feel as bad as those who are being bullied. He may also feel worried that the bullying could happen to him. When bullying is not stopped or challenged by anyone it can create an environment where bullying is accepted and where everyone feels powerless to stop it. Why don't kids ask for help? Kids don’t tell bullying to adults for many reasons: Bullying can make a child feel helpless. Kids may want to handle it on their own to feel in control again. Kids may fear backlash from the kid who bullied them. Bullying can be a humiliating experience. Kids may not want adults to know what is being said about them, whether true or false. They may also fear that adults will judge them or punish them for being weak. Kids who are bullied may already feel socially isolated. They may feel like no one cares or could understand. Kids may fear being rejected by their peers.

Know your rights Children have a right to feel safe and to be treated fairly and respectfully. Bullying is a serious problem with serious mental and physical impacts. Bullying can violate many of child rights including: right to be free from mental, emotional and physical violence right to have education  right to have a safe environment  Why do people bully others? People bully for different reasons. Those who bully persistently are likely to do so in order to dominate others and improve their social status. They may have high self-esteem, show little regret for their bullying behaviour and not see bullying as morally wrong. Some people may bully out of anger or frustration, they may struggle socially and could have also been victims of bullying.  A Case study of bullying reported in the history of Buddhism Once there was a brahman called Akkosaka Bharadvaja at arrival of the Buddha and insulted and cursed Buddha with rude and harsh words. “Ekaṃ samayaṃ bhagavā rājagahe viharati veḷuvane kalandakanivāpe. Assosi kho akkosakabhāradvājo brāhmaṇo – ‘‘bhāradvājagotto kira brāhmaṇo samaṇassa gotamassa santike agārasmā anagāriyaṃ pabbajito’’ti kupito anattamano yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami, upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṃ asabbhāhi pharusāhi vācāhi akkosati paribhāsati.” In another occasion Suciloma, a demon tried to bully the Buddha by making the Buddha afraid of him and then scolded on Buddha. This incident recorded in Sucilōma Sutta of Saṃyutta Nikaya. The Buddha was staying in Gayā at Ṭaṁkitamañca, the haunt of Suciloma, the yakkha. And on that occasion Khara, the yakkha and Suciloma passed by not far from the Buddha. Khara told Suciloma, “That’s a contemplative.” “That’s not a contemplative. That’s a fake contemplative. I’ll find out whether that’s a contemplative or a fake contemplative.” So Suciloma approached the Buddha and on arrival leaned his body up against the Buddha. The Buddha leaned his body away. So Suciloma said “Are you afraid of me, contemplative?” “No, I’m not afraid of you, friend, just that your touch is evil.” “I will ask you a question, contemplative. If you can’t answer me, I will hurl out your mind or rip open your heart or, grabbing you by the feet, hurl you across the Ganges.” “Ekaṃ samayaṃ bhagavā gayāyaṃ viharati ṭaṅkitamañce sūcilomassa yakkhassa bhavane. Tena kho pana samayena kharo ca yakkho sūcilomo ca yakkho bhagavato avidūre atikkamanti. Atha kho kharo yakkho sūcilomaṃ yakkhaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘eso samaṇo’’ti! ‘‘Neso samaṇo, samaṇako eso’’. ‘‘Yāva jānāmi yadi vā so samaṇo yadi vā pana so samaṇako’’ti. Atha kho sūcilomo yakkho yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavato kāyaṃ upanāmesi. Atha kho bhagavā kāyaṃ apanāmesi. Atha kho sūcilomo yakkho bhagavantaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘bhāyasi maṃ samaṇā’’ti? ‘‘Na khvāhaṃ taṃ, āvuso, bhāyāmi; api ca te samphasso pāpako’’ti. ‘‘Pañhaṃ taṃ, samaṇa pucchissāmi. Sace me na byākarissasi, cittaṃ vā te khipissāmi, hadayaṃ vā te phālessāmi, pādesu vā gahetvā pāragaṅgāya khipissāmī’’ti. ‘‘Na khvāhaṃ taṃ, āvuso, passāmi sadevake loke samārake sabrahmake sassamaṇabrāhmaṇiyā pajāya sadevamanussāya, yo me cittaṃ vā khipeyya hadayaṃ vā phāleyya pādesu vā gahetvā pāragaṅgāya khipeyya; api ca tvaṃ, āvuso, puccha yadā kaṅkhasī’’ti.” On one occasion the Buddha was living in the abode of Alavaka, the Yakkha (demon), at Alavi. Then Alavaka approached the Blessed One and tried to bullying Him. It is recorded in Alavaka Sutta as thus. Alavaka came and said the same thing again and again and tried to make fun of it. He told Buddha, "Get out, recluse (samana)." — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha went out. "Come in, recluse." — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha entered. "Get out, recluse," said Alavaka to the Buddha a second time. — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha went out. "Come in, recluse." — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha entered. "Get out, recluse," said Alavaka to the Buddha a third time. — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha went out. "Come in, recluse." — "Very well, friend," so saying the Buddha entered. "Get out recluse," said Alavaka to the Buddha a fourth time. — "No, O friend, I will not get out. Do what you will." "I will ask you a question, recluse. If you do not answer me, I will confound your mind or cleave your heart, or take you by your feet and fling you over to the further shore of the ocean. "Well, friend, I do not see anyone in the world of Devas, Maras, Brahmas, or among the generation of recluses, brahmanas, deities, and humans, who could either confound my mind or cleave my heart, or take me by the feet and fling me over to the further shore of the ocean; nevertheless, friend, ask what you will." “Atha kho āḷavako yakkho yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘nikkhama, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā nikkhami. ‘‘Pavisa, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā pāvisi. Dutiyampi kho āḷavako yakkho bhagavantaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘nikkhama, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā nikkhami. ‘‘Pavisa, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā pāvisi. Tatiyampi kho āḷavako yakkho bhagavantaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘nikkhama, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā nikkhami. ‘‘Pavisa, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Sādhāvuso’’ti bhagavā pāvisi. Catutthampi kho āḷavako yakkho bhagavantaṃ etadavoca – ‘‘nikkhama, samaṇā’’ti. ‘‘Na khvāhaṃ taṃ, āvuso, nikkhamissāmi. Yaṃ te karaṇīyaṃ taṃ karohī’’ti. ‘‘Pañhaṃ taṃ, samaṇa, pucchissāmi. Sace me na byākarissasi, cittaṃ vā te khipissāmi, hadayaṃ vā te phālessāmi, pādesu vā gahetvā pāragaṅgāya khipissāmī’’ti. ‘‘Na khvāhaṃ taṃ, āvuso, passāmi sadevake loke samārake sabrahmake sassamaṇabrāhmaṇiyā pajāya sadevamanussāya, ye me cittaṃ vā khipeyya hadayaṃ vā phāleyya, pādesu vā gahetvā pāragaṅgāya khipeyya.” These examples show how the Buddha dealt with bullies. There is another instance where Rajjumala was bullied and ill-treated by her mistress. She was about to suicide by hanging herself. But the Budhha saved her life making her understanding the situation and asking her face the situation with patiently and spread loving kindness towards them. Once there was a boy called Sopaka who was bullied by his step father at home and finally tied him to a dead body in a cemetery. The Buddha visited him and cured his mental suffering. These examples show how the Buddha did counselling for bullied victims. According to these recorded it is very clear bullying takes place in anywhere and at any time. Even the Buddha’s period, there are enough evidences where there bullying took place. Buddhist Counselling for bullied children There are a lot of ways which can be used to avoid bullying and reform the victims. When we consider the Buddhist counselling, there are many teaching of the Buddha which is applicable to get rid of this current issue. One of the first things to do if possible is to distance you from this individual. Ultimately it is important to remember that they are not you, and you do not have to take their bullying, their bullying is theirs and theirs alone. Buddha used this method when dealing with Akkosa. He said, If a well prepared food would not been accepted by a visitor in your house you and your family members share and eat them. In the same way, brahman, that with which you have insulted me, who is not insulting; that with which you have taunted me, who is not taunting; that with which you have berated me, who is not berating: that I don't accept from you. It's all yours, brahman. It's all yours. Not insinuating you do feel that way, but often we can feel like the bullying is a personal attack and we allow ourselves to take it with us and carry it home - but by realizing the root of the other persons suffering we can detach ourselves from any personal hurt. The Buddha taught interdependence. No one is really separate from anyone else. Reminding ourselves that we are all interconnected assists us in cultivating Empathy Wisdom Compassion. Buddhism also teaches about being introspective so that we can witness suffering, use right speech to express compassion and kindness, and practice self-discipline. This allows us an opportunity to gain insight into our situations, to strengthen our minds, to understand one another, and to remove ourselves from the dynamics that are causing harm. Practicing these profound steps can also help us to deal with aggression and bullying simply by remaining in the moment so that we are aware of what is going on around us, while we cultivate empathy and compassion. Approach our difficulties with courage. (Uṭṭhana Viriya) When we are hesitant, we can come across as though there is no conviction in what we are thinking, saying, or doing. However, having faith in how we express ourselves helps us deliver our thoughts and feelings in a concise and confident manner. Patiently wait until we see a clear pattern emerging before we jump in with knee-jerk reactions and emotional responses (Khanti). This may involve temporarily stepping back from our situations so that we can see the bigger picture as it develops. Be happy who we are, and all that surrounds us. (Santutṭita)When we are content, we will be less concerned or affected by the detrimental behaviors of those around us. We can learn to have appreciation for life on a moment-to-moment basis. “Being aggressive, you can accomplish some things, but with gentleness, you can accomplish all things.” Meditation is a tool that can be used to help dissolve our attachment to our ego, so that we are less likely to feel shame or fear if others attempt to put us down and embarrass us publicly, and instead hold our seat and respond skillfully. Our ego has a variety of needs, and one of those is to work hard to keep us feeling safe in the world. Therefore, when someone tries to tarnish our character, our ego jumps in to defend us, but often overreacts causing more pain and carnage. “Sabbe tasanti daṇdassa – sabbe taṃ jīvitaṃ piyaṃ” Therefore, if we can soothe our ego’s demands by being grounded and rational and by remembering that we do not need to take the views of other people personally, and that we can quell rage and pain just by gently bringing ourselves back to the present moment. We will settle into the eye of any storm and peacefully allow those moments to pass us by without becoming irate and reactionary. Mindfulness (Samma Sati) allows us to exist in the present moment so that we are aware of our emotions and how they can quickly gain control over us, if we allow them to become overwhelming. When we are calm and balanced, we will be in a position to listen carefully to those around us so that we can see their suffering and the reasons they behave the way they do. If we choose to respond habitually or become aggressive in our reactions to bullying, we will only cause ourselves more suffering and feel powerless sadly, this is often what the bully hoped for. Therefore, we will feel injured twice, first by the bully and then by our own emotionally fueled responses. We need to be aware of the mind and its function carefully and try to control it. If one can control the mind it brings happiness. “Cittassa dhamato sādu” “Cittaṃ rakkheṭa mēdhavi – cittaṃ guttaṃ sukhavahaṃ” We are all mirrors for one another. However, this does not mean that what other people say or do is in any way a reflection of who we are as a person. It just means that people offer us the opportunity to reflect on a deeper level so that we can see why we feel emotionally affected by how people express themselves. We can then develop a greater understanding of one another, which is essential for children from their young ages. Rather than interacting angrily with the person we feel is patronizing, disrespecting, or mistreating us, we can instead offer kindness, compassion, and understanding. Just because someone judges us, it does not mean they know what they are talking about particularly, or that their conclusions in any way reflect who we are. They are looking through their own eyes, through their own lens of perception, and, perhaps, with a complete lack of empathy. Buddhism teaches Metta (loving-kindness) and Karuna (compassion). We practice cultivating it within ourselves and then extend it to all sentient beings especially to bullies. Some people just do not like the way others shine, so they sadly try to dim their light, shut them down, and silence them. They do not practice Mudita (appreciative joy). The children who bully others do not know anything about appreciative joy. It seems that they are needed to be educated about these qualities. And it is necessary to give them time to understand their lack of virtues qualities and develop them within one’s own self. Now how do we practice Upekkha (equanimity) towards a person you are annoyed at? This is not so easy if you have not practiced mindfulness meditation. You may want to first practice loving kindness and compassion first. If it does not work, try to practice equanimity (look neutrally) at this person. This is how it works. When a person speaks to us we first pick up information from our external senses. We then process the information and if it is agreeable we get a pleasant feeling. If it is disagreeable we get an unpleasant feeling and may get annoyed at the person. It is also possible for us reject both these pleasant and unpleasant feelings and practice equanimity. Equanimity will help us to overcome this annoyance in us. The story of Cincimanavika gives evidence how Buddha practices Upekkha. The next method of overcoming an annoyance is by forgetting or ignoring the person. You can do this in two ways, physically or mentally. You can physically remove yourself from the situation. This will be the easier method. You can walk away from the situation till the person "cools down". This is sometimes called "positive withdrawal." This means you remove yourself from the situation for your own benefit. On the other hand mental withdrawal is little more difficult. Unless we have practiced enough Vipassana meditation your mind is going to bring back to all the thoughts and memories again and again. These thoughts are food for the mind. We keep feeding on this "mental food" until we get very angry and depressed. You may try to replace these thoughts at the beginning itself with pleasant thought previously experienced by you. Otherwise before we know our mind will be full of anger and ill will and we will be suffering from it. Now how can you replace unpleasant thought with a pleasant thought? This is how Buddha explained this: “When you are thinking about an object, it sometimes occurs that evil, unwholesome thoughts connected with hate and delusion comes to your mind. The way to get rid of them is to concentrate on another object that is wholesome and good. Just like a skilled carpenter knocks out a course peg with a fine one, so the evil thoughts will disappear. With their departure, the mind will be calm, unified, and concentrated once more.”

Strengthening Our Kids Educating our kids to "see" bullying as a form of suffering is insightful. It teaches them that bullies are hurting, angry and need our compassion more than our criticism. I believe the only way that this epidemic of bullying is to be "turned around" in our schools is to change the way we perceive bullies, train our children earlier with tools of emotional health and provide bullies with a "way out" if they are willing, able and ready to transform their thinking as well as actions. Let us not forget, “No one is born wanting to be a bully”. They learned it. They can unlearn it too. And in the meantime, my recommendation is we each continue to strengthen our children's abilities to be strong from the inside out.

Have Compassion It can be difficult to have compassion for your bullies, but it helps to remember that hurt people, hurt people. Bullies want to make you think there is something wrong with you. The truth is there is nothing wrong with you, and they are the ones with the problems. Deep down inside they feel scared and unworthy, and they believe the only way to build themselves up is to tear someone else down.

Meet New People A bully is one person. There are lots of great people out there in the world for you to meet. Don’t let one bad egg, or a few bad eggs, spoil the bunch. If you are in school, join other groups that interest you. Do not be afraid to get outside your comfort zone because it will show you that the world is filled with awesome people.

Talk to a Close Friend or Family Member You are only alone if you choose to be alone. Reach out to a trusted friend or family member you feel comfortable with and vent your innermost thoughts and feelings to them. It feels good to have a listening ear, someone who reminds us of our value. Sometimes we get so caught up in our problems that we forget about the wonderful person we are.

Don’t Cross the Line Just Because They Do Remember that just because someone else crosses the line that does not mean you have to cross it as well. You’re not responsible for what someone else does to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to it. (Theory of Kamma) Send Them Love and Forgiveness When you are alone, imagine the bully you are dealing with. Surround them with light and love, and repeat in your mind, “I send them love, I send them love, I send them love”. The Buddhist perspective is one of outlook to see the bigger picture, what is really at stake, and try to work toward the best outcome from that point of view. Buddhism teaches to be compassionate toward both the sides, and do best to protect victims from harm and prevent the bully from inflicting harm. Again, it is about keeping the big picture in view. A Successful Story Last month, I was working with Sanuth (age 12) who was being bullied every day in school by a student. Sanuth's response was crying. He didn't know what else to do because bullying hurt his feelings. Sanuth couldn't see or think beyond his emotions until I guided him to do the following: 1. "See" the Suffering I knew the home situation of the boy who bully. His dad was in prison and home was really challenging. Then I asked Sanuth what he had thought about this situation, and he replied, "yes, I guess his life is hard and he is unhappy." This was the doorway that helped Sanuth develop compassion for that child. 2. Protect Yourself Sanuth was called names, which really hurt him but it was clear he was never in any physical danger. This is not always the case. Every child needs to learn how to avoid "bully situations" if they can such as not being alone often in the class, playground or canteen. 3. Use Mottos Teaching kids how to use mottos to affirm their own power and strength makes them completely unappealing to bullies since they are not weak. It also has the sneaky side effect of bolstering their confidence. Sanuth liked saying, "I am strong" over and over again. Coupled with breathing techniques I taught him, he also felt actively calm quickly. 4. Apply Kindness Sanuth found that when he was nice to that boy he did not want to tease him or bully him. Bullies typically pick kids that are sensitive, quiet or "easy targets" so they can quickly feel strong and a false sense of power. When Sanuth befriended with compassionate heart to that boy it was much harder for that boy to distance himself from Sanuth. He became a real person with feelings. Kindness thus diffused this bullying episode. 5. Cut-Off Kindness quite frankly can not fix everything. Sometimes bullies that are older become dangerous, aggressive and violent thus requiring kids to learn to remove themselves from this situation. Buddhists call it "cutting-off" when you learn to "cut-off" any negative situations, emotions or responses (i.e. cheating, stealing, lying) which can potentially cause you harm. This means teaching kids not to respond but walk away from such aggressors. “Natti bale sahāyata” These 5 tips come from Buddhist philosophy that encourages insight (see the suffering), preservation of life (protect self), use right speech (motto/affirmations), compassion (apply kindness) and self-discipline (cut-off) in dealing with others. Such suggestions are also focused upon guiding young children on how to begin understanding the experience of a bully while keeping their emotional health intact. It is preventative medicine. It is only the beginning. Of course, if any child looks potentially harmful to self or others serious action needs to be taken immediately. Bibliography Cali Canonical Texts Anguttara Nikaya, Ed. R. Morris and E. Hardy, 5 Volumes, PTS, London, 1900 Majjima Nikaya, Ed. V. Trenkner and R. Charmers, 3 Volumes, PTS, London, 1948-1950. Sanyutta Nikaya, Ed. L. Peer, 6 Volumes, PTS, London, 1884-1904. Dhammapada, Edited and Translated by Venerable Narada, Sri Lanka, 1963. Dictionaries A Dictionary of Pali, Part 1, Margaret Cone, PTS, Oxford, 2001. Buddhist Dictionary by Ven. Nayanatiloka Mahathera, Revised and enlarged by Ven. Nyanaponika Mahathera, BPS, Sri Lanka, 1997 Pali-English Dictionary, T. W. Rhys Davids and William Stede, PTS, 1921. Cambridge International Dictionary of English, Cambridge University Press, 1999. Secondary Sources Aronson B. Harvey, Love and Sympathy in the Theravada Buddhism, Indological Publishers, Delhi, 1980. Dhammasami Naw Kam La, Buddhist Psychiatry, Buddhist Cultural Centre, Sri Lanka, 2007. Nissanka H. S. S., Buddhist Psychotherapy, Buddhist Cultural Centre, Sri Lanka, 2002. Pemaratana Surakkulame, Bauddha Manovidyava, Dayawansa Jayakodi and Company, Sri Lanka, 2010. Quek Jenny, The Buddha's technique and practice of counselling, Singapore, 2006. Kalupahana David j., The Principles of Buddhist Psychology, Buddhist Cultural Centre, Sri Lanka, 2018. Rigby K., Children and bullying: How parents and educators can reduce bullying at school, Blackwell Publishing,.2008.